I've been asking for people to send me in shots of artwork they've bought off me - because I love seeing my work in people's homes, and I love how people buy my work for such different reasons and are such a wide variety of people. Plus my work seems to really come alive once it's got a place in someone's home [and heart], and I love to see it loved in a domestic setting.
This morning the lovely FL from Wellington sent in this gorgeous picture of a wee card I did a few years ago as part of a project I did for a year called the Fleur Wickes Monthly Papers.
When opened the message and saw what she'd sent through, the words really hit me.
These are our days
let's live them
Yes, I thought, these are indeed OUR days. Let's LIVE them.
Those of us who are still here with our hearts beating have a responsibility to make the most of the hours we have. To find ways to feel truly and properly alive. To live this life awake.
Getting this photograph first thing this morning made me feel awake alright.
I cried when I saw it because it reminded me of how my mother fought for three years every single day to stay alive because she loved us and we were what mattered to her and we needed her still. It hurt to think of Mum and her dying and her leaving and the gap she's left in me. It hurt like hell. But you know the other I felt when looked at these words? All of a sudden I understood that it's okay to be happy again. She'd want that. She'd want me to be happy. It fact it's all she ever really wanted for me my whole life. I cried again.
I love it how receiving this photograph opened my heart up. I love it how I cried.
If you choose to live this life fierce and alive - and I do - you get given the remarkable gift of being able to really feel. But mate, feeling so keenly hurts just as often as it gives you pleasure. One is inextricable from the other. But I tell you, it is so worth it. Every damn roller coaster minute.
Thanks, FL, for sending this beautiful photograph through. And thanks for being such supporter of my work over these long years. It means so much to me.