This morning, while my partner and I were lying together watching the light brighten through the skylights above our bed, he said such beautiful things to me. I was silent as he said his words, paying fierce attention with my head heart body. They’re words I don’t want to forget. This is a feeling I don’t want to forget. So I made this drawing.

I’ve said a lot during this lockdown about the difficulty/struggle/tears but not much about how gentle and beautiful it is here with him. Partly because I wanted to keep it close to my chest for a while, partly because I often need to clear away all the difficult feelings before I can acknowledge the wonderful ones. And also very much because I often feel the difficult and the wonderful simultaneously, and it seems more important somehow to say what’s difficult because there’s so much pretending on social, so many “living your best life” grids that don’t reflect the actual.

The pink in the drawing is the flush on your cheeks when you wake. The words you said aren’t just remembered by these marks I made, they’re writ right down deep inside me. You light me up, you make me feel safe. Your voice, quiet in my ear and so very English, is one of the joys of my life.⁠

[Quietly and in the morning, 2020 is available as a limited edition studioprint]