L bought this artwork for her husband, B, for his 50th birthday. When I was at her home in Wellington the other day, she talked about how she'd wanted to show me the artwork in the finished room [they're in the middle of renovations] but kindly let me in to their bedroom anyway, and let me take photographs, too.Read More
I’ve been sitting with the photographs I made of L for a few weeks now. I’ve come to really like this one. The photograph combines her gentle kindness with her fierce strength, and those are the very characteristics I see in her.Read More
Today has been a very long one.
Orders to the lab. Answering emails. Making decisions. Making plans for exhibitions. Making progress on work in progress. Paying bills. Coffee with a friend. Working out. Making dinner. Cleaning the sink. Not doing the dishes and feeling guilty but deciding writing’s more important than dishes. That’s how my life rolls. You know how it is.Read More
And so, the original “it’s beautiful here at the edge” has sold. It’s off to Nelson on Monday.
It’s new owner, B, has children and so I worked with my framer to come up with a solution to make it kid-proof and now it has a double frame and kick-ass museum glass. God it looks goodRead More
I’ve been doing a helluva lot of thinking lately - thinking about the shape I want to be in now, the shape of my work and life and love.
You know those times where the possibilities seem endless and you think you could just up and change everything.
I’ve been frustrated and lonely and wobbly and not feeling strongly my self, and looking everywhere but inside for the solution. Thinking a new man or a new home or a new studio or a new town might be the solution.
The last few days it’s dawned on me that I like my life pretty much as it is here in this beautiful small wee gentle place. My life is quiet and deeply felt and slowly unfolding at a pace which feels good to me. I’m grieving and living and loving and laughing. Sometimes in the dark, sometimes in the light.
I’m determined to find what’s beautiful in the righthererightnow rather than imagining that perfect life over the rainbow and giving up everything I have built to reach for something that’s not even real. There is no perfect life. No greener grass. You can leave and travel and go somewhere new and have the best new romance, but the thing is you always take your self with you, and all the difficult parts you don’t like eventually show themselves. Once again.
Your self is the thing you gotta get square with.
Forget Everest. Turning and looking inside yourself, prepared to face what you see there, that’s biggest challenge of all. And where the most wildly freeing change can occur.
And so, here I am this morning, rearranging my front room, continuing on at my snail’s pace, pushing my work and self forward each and every day. I didn’t leave town, I didn’t get a big studio or a new home. Instead I brought an old lightbox I did a few years ago out of storage. Setup a new table I can draw on, watch the river and the world go by from. It’s beautiful isn’t it. And it didn’t cost a cent.
I’m in exactly the same place but I feel like I’ve moved a thousand miles from the stuckness I’ve been in for weeks.
Fuck . Perspective is everything.