NAVIGATION // Day 4, 29 March 2020

Trying to orient myself to this stay-at-home new-normal.  Spent the day feeling dark and down, trying to find my way up.  It wasn't easy.  Full of stuttering stumbling difficult navigation.⁠

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The rain fell heavily all day.  I felt trapped. Caged.  Even the ridiculously excellent scrambled eggs with smoked salmon made by my partner, accompanied by an excellent kiss, didn't lift my mood. ⁠

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Finally the rain stopped and we got out for a walk. Christ it was good.  But there was of course the polite moving away and tight smile from every person we encountered: social distancing is horrid. ⁠

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But I did see the most beautiful sight.  Two kereru in flight. They are my very favourite birds.  I've been seeing them all week here in Wadestown, but they've been sitting /shuffling in trees.  Today they flew low down and right toward us and I got to hear the gorgeous sound of their heavy wings beating.  It completely and utterly made my day. ⁠

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I'm thinking that if every day I can find it in myself ⁠

to find one beautiful thing/experience/moment, then that will keep my damn wobbly arrow pointing upward, and away from the dark fearful place it seems so easy right now to get lost in. ⁠

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One beautiful thing: I hereby set my compass.⁠

[ Navigation, 2020 is available as a limited edtion studioprint.]

ONE DAY AT A TIME // Day 02, 27 March 2020

This is the perspective I'm taking on this.  One day at a time, one foot in front of the other.⁠

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I'm a recovering alcoholic [11 years sober, YES!] and in AA they teach you the value of what many would call these days "being present". If you think to yourself "I'm never going to have a drink again for the rest of my life", it makes you want to run at a sprint to the bottle store.  If you instead think, I'm not having a drink today, it makes it all so much more manageable/possible.  Especially at the beginning.⁠

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So that's me now.  Not freaking myself out with the wide-angle view of this lockdown [or rahui, as my friend Lisa called it, which is a much gentler and less restrictive word]. Instead going, okay, today, I'm staying at home, today I'm just seeing the people in my bubble..today I'm standing in line at the supermarket, today I saw a kereru at closequarters feeding, today I had a videocall after-work party with friends. Today. Today. Today. ⁠

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And then tommorow comes and turns into today too and soon enough, all the todays become the length of time we've had to stay at home, and we will have gotten through.⁠

[One day at a time, 2020 is available to purchase as a studioprint]